Kilgore Samson II is a genetic clone made from Thomas's and Katin's DNA, giving him mind powers that he is not afraid to use and Tard Strength. He was named after the golfish Thomas Ladies kept on his desk. As he was made from Tom's DNA, he had both BunsMaster and SwagMaster blood running through his veins, which slowly killed him. Kilgore II was made for the sole purpose of killing Thomas Ladies, but couldn't accomplish his mission, as he Tom was able to deduce the effects of his blood and the fact that he was not given any actual training. Kilgore II was stabbed through the chest by Thomas Ladies. 


He was a perfect clone of Thomas Ladies on the outside, but only shared his mindset on veggies. Meaning Kilgore II and Thomas had different mind sets, as Kilgore II was raised by Katin exclusively. 

Kilgore II is a very confident person and thinks that he is unbeatable, due to both his mind powers and exceptional Tard Strength. This was another factor in his downfall, as his overconfidence had him taunt Thomas Ladies by informing him of the blood that runs through his veins. 

He isn't entirely ruthless, however, though he did kill a number of people on his quest to defeat Thomas, he spared children and a number of the employees at Ladies Inc., being given the chance to kill both Ron Clearwater and Jared Herps. 


  • Kilgore II had Thomas Ladies's blood, but was not a Blood Child, thus he died slowly. This caused his strength to dwindle right as he was about to kill Thomas.
  • He wore clothing that was similar to Thomas's outfit, but refused to wear a scarf, believing that it was much too "tacky".
  • His dying words were profuse insults to Thomas, but ended in him wishing he could've actually gotten to know everyone else in the office that wasn't Tom. This might've meant that Kilgore II had the same taste in friends. 
  • Kilgore had the ability to control the minds of both men and women, but was also able to read minds in his final moments. 
  • Thomas stated that if he'd given Kilgore II his blood to drink, his blood would have stopped destroying his body.